Lost in Articulation (11/09)

Even now you don’t understand her broken sentences
Dashed with tears and shaky snuffles.
She speaks in riddles disguised as truth, which you take as truth
Misunderstanding longing for loneliness
And desire for friendship.
But how can she expect you to know when being together
Made you both fall apart?
The wall she fastens around her being is plastered with rejection
And dismissal for you while she talks about
A different man.
But what she yearns to say is simple:
I need you
I want you
I love you.
If only I could retrace the path of time and end up in your bed
At 3 am, tipsy but safe because you were there
Watching, protecting
Holding me.
She couldn’t know the truth with too much hostility between their embrace
And now without the murky baggage she has new eyes
That see reality in a past bond.
Her eyes meet the harshness of actions
And finally force her mind to comprehend
The sadness she spawned and the sadness that traps her
Marbled through every stretch of flesh.
When she turns out the light
And goes to sleep it always hits her:
You are happy and I am alone.

-M

Angry Lamentations (01/2010)

I remember when you picked the lavender from my hair
so tenderly--an embrace
twirling it in the fingers light as a feather--light as the world
or as me in a white dress twirling under the stars
with dew on the grass
on that perfect night
so long ago that it isn't real

you stand before me in my mind's eye
never as perfect as you could have been, then
on that night that never happened
when our arms locked around one another
and a new beginning was born

Here you are though, now
in this moment
unveiled, standing in your weakness
sullied real, you are naked before me
I can see you
Without the trees, the stars, the smiles
without the lies

fainthearted coward
you killed the night, our dream
not with a deft blow but instead
with the withering, writhing pain of perpetual silence


--E.